Puff and Drinks
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Puff and Drinks
From Locker Room Glory To Fragile Minds: A Candid Talk On Mental Health, CTE, And Coping In The Social Media Age -Ep. 17
A young NFL player is gone at 24, and we refuse to look away. We open with real talk about grief, diagnosis, and the pressure cooker of pro sports, then pull the lens wider to ask why so many young people—especially Black men—are still expected to “walk it off” when their mental health is on the line. The truth we face together: silence is still the norm, coping is poorly taught, and the consequences are devastating.
We unpack how early mental health issues can go under-treated when talent is ascendant and the schedule never stops. From CTE and sub-concussive hits on the offensive line to steroid pressure and image demands, the performance grind can fracture even a steady mind. Add the loss of an anchor like a parent and suddenly the scaffolding falls. We also ask the hard questions about a traffic stop, a firearm, and the moments between crisis and catastrophe—because outcomes don’t make sense until you trace the pressures that built them.
Away from the field, the stress moves online. Cyberbullying magnifies shame and isolation, turning one cruel message into a public dogpile. As a health teacher on the mic explains, schools see the aftermath daily—fights, suspensions, kids lost in noise. So we drill into practical steps: teach emotional regulation early, check in often, remove access to means during crises, and make therapy ordinary. Parents, coaches, and peers can all open doors by asking direct questions, listening without judgment, and connecting people to real support.
We close with a promise and a plea: pay attention, act fast, and never assume someone is “fine.” If you or someone you love needs help, reach out to us at puff and drinks at gmail.com and we’ll point you toward resources. If this conversation moved you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find support when they need it most.
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No cue to music.
SPEAKER_05:I was born to do this.
SPEAKER_04:He was dying to get that in.
SPEAKER_05:I was. I was.
SPEAKER_00:Well, what's going on, buff and drink family?
SPEAKER_04:What's going on, y'all?
SPEAKER_00:And it's good to see y'all. Hey, this is Rodney Q Love, and I'm getting high. Throwing it over too. With Byron B.
SPEAKER_08:And this week I really don't have a pairing, but I do have a drink. There we go. There we go. I love me some Knob Creek. Um, it's very delicious, and you can get high off of Knob Creek.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And once again, I'm Jimmy Jefferson, and Knob Creek tastes delicious on vanilla ice cream. Oh. Or pancakes.
SPEAKER_07:My man on the side. I'm Dennis Cotton. And I don't like the word high. Can we use the word actually? I can't think of anything. So it is. High it is.
SPEAKER_06:Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02:All right, Judge, Jes. You know, I know that we kid around a lot and everything else, but we're also very serious about our community and everything else. Very, we're we're we're we're we're trying to be efficient about it and everything else. We're also trying to take and make sure that we we talk about some of the things that's going on in our community.
SPEAKER_08:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:We lost a young man this week.
SPEAKER_08:Wait, before we get too serious, I just want to Oh, go, go, go, please still talk about the I just no no no. I just want to reflect back on our last episode and everything. So there was a skit off Martin's and Martin went through Tommy's book, his little black book, and he seen GTD. Yep, yep, yep. And he's like, Man, what does GTD mean? And he didn't want to answer. And then finally, he said, got the draws. Okay. Okay. So I know in the last episode you said you didn't want to use draws, but draw's been used for a long time. So we're gonna start saying GTD. GTD.
SPEAKER_02:All right, all right, all right. Go ahead. All right, get on the table. Again, guys, you know, once again, it's one of those situations where we got to talk about what happened in our community or happened in the country over all today. Okay. We lost an NFL player. Oh my god. And this young man was 24 years old. His name is Marshawn Nealan. And Marshon, you know, decided that life was not worth living. Yeah. Right. You know, and he the he had been going through some situations and everything else. He lost his mom. But prior to that and everything else, Marshawn had issues even in high school.
SPEAKER_08:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:So with that being said and everything else, you know, I wanted to at least take a few minutes, you know, to at least, you know, you know, recognize this young man. And of course, and then on top of that, we really do, from a black male perspective, need to talk about mental illness.
SPEAKER_08:Okay. Now, when you said issues in high school, are you meaning mental illness? Like mental depression type issues?
SPEAKER_02:Well, he was he was diagnosed early, from my understanding, in in high school, with he had some mental illness. They didn't say exactly what that was.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:So I, you know, I I can't really tell you exactly. I don't want to go too far down that rabbit hole and everything else, but he was diagnosed in high school. Okay. So they're probably not treated, and if they did well, it wasn't treated properly. Yeah. You know, and then again, it could have been a situation where the this young man was dealing with schizophrenia or he was dealing with some type of depression, that kind of thing. But when his mom, his, his, his, his whole world anchor. Exactly. His whole world, okay, you know, passed and everything else, that that just, you know, that sent him over the edge.
SPEAKER_08:Now that's what was reported.
SPEAKER_02:That was reported. But he had already been going through it for quite some time because when he was drafted, ironically, when he was drafted, his mom had died two months prior to his drafting.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:So this boy had already had a lot of shit going on in his head and everything else, and then dealing with all these other mental issues. So again, you know, he's 20, he took his own life and he's 24 years old. You know, and his girlfriend, she did the right thing. She picked up the phone and called the police and told them that he's been battling mental illness. She let the police know that, you know, he's got some things going on.
SPEAKER_08:Right.
SPEAKER_02:He gets away from the police, and by the time they do get to him and everything else, he had already taken his life. So, you know, again, I'm not trying to be a downer with this and everything else, but I just want to take it, you know, talk about a little bit and everything else, you know, from a black male perspective and everything else, where we do need to take and grab a hold of these boys. We need to get we need to spend a little bit more time with them, you know. If we can't, you know, get them to talk to us, at least work and try to figure out how we can actually take and get them the help that they need. Right, right. You know, and it it is what it is.
SPEAKER_08:And you know, I want to say there's a little depression in everyone.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_08:There's a little depression in everyone, and it might be the same amount of pressure that we had, they still have it today. It's just that they don't know how to cope.
SPEAKER_02:And that's what I I I I brought up, uh, you know, when you know in one of our chats and everything, so I brought up too and everything else that it the whole coping mechanism. Yeah, I but I I do believe from our culture and everything else, our standpoint, it's broken. Yeah. You know, we we we're in our we're older. Hell, I ain't gonna go further, but we're older. Yeah, yeah. So we but we're dealing with things where you know, certain things we when we were younger and everything else, you know, the the bullying and everything else, we didn't even we didn't say bullying. You know, we we knew you know that you know so and so was gonna take and you know, we're gonna play the dozens. Right, right. You know, your mama does, you know, your mama wear combo boots, you know. But you can't do that shit this now with these kids. No. That whole thing, you know, they got whole schools that got signs. Dennis knows that's a teacher, yes, sir. You know, bullying is is is almost as bad as drugs, you know.
SPEAKER_08:And it's not physical bullying. You have cyber bullying.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. That's that's even worse because some of the kids don't even have access to it.
SPEAKER_07:Man, I okay. So I I gotta you say he had issues since high school. Yes. The first thing that comes to my mind was the bullying, was it drugs, was it bad relationships? A whole lot of time.
SPEAKER_08:He's a football player, yes, yeah. You know how big he is. You know how big he is? He was he was a big boy. He's a big boy. This is like Terry Cruz saying he was being molested by that little ass faggot dude.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, oh you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_08:Okay, big as you are, but anyway, but you know what?
SPEAKER_07:For some reason, I don't know why. Phyllis Hyman just popped into my head. Oh man, that's depressing.
SPEAKER_02:He had the war, man, she's been in the news all this week. Yeah, man. Yep, that she's been in the news all this week. Funny she mentioned that she's been in the news all this week, yeah, and again, she was part of that whole depression kind of thing. And but ironically, Fanny Sha mentioned that she's been in the news all this week, and all the social media channels have been talking about Phyllis Hyman. Yeah, what went wrong?
SPEAKER_08:She wanted she wanted somebody else's man. That's what went wrong.
SPEAKER_01:Well, yeah, she did, but you do think that was it.
SPEAKER_02:Man, you listen to her songs, Phyllis, Phyllis, Phyllis, Phyllis's songs, all of her songs As we lay. No, no, no, that's Shirley Murdock. Oh, okay. You know, but uh but but but same thing, bo. But she she she told you all of her problems, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know part of her issues too, her weight fluctuated a lot.
SPEAKER_08:Yes, yep, yeah, that could play mental games on you.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it played a lot in her her psyche too, because she was trying to portray this image of you know, this, this, this, you know, black women. Well, that and black men black women in music is a whole different story, too. Yeah, you know, they see them differently. You know, you can be, you know, you could be the fat rapper or you can be the fat singer, but you can't be a fat black woman singer. You just can't. You gotta be, you gotta look this, you gotta look the part, you gotta look apart, not unless you look like Jill Scott. Well, well, Jill Scott, well, Jill Scott, you know, she's done what she she dropped that weight too. But if you want to get into weight, then look at Lizzo. Yeah, Lizzo dropped uh a lot of weight, she did, you know, and and and and again, you know, but she when she was not she was not embarrassed no when she had the weight. No, she she lived her life the way she chose to, but she also dropped that weight. I don't know if it was health issues, I don't know, but again, she she she also knew too that you know the music industries for black women of heavyweight status is different, you know.
SPEAKER_08:But but you know, with with the entertainers, period, they have something different than the average Joe.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:There's a lot of stress on them with the concerts at the concerts when they on on on the road and everything. You're not eating properly, they're not eating properly, and you need that pick me up and go. And that's how a lot of them got hooked on cocaine. That was a sneakers' little bump and they can go. The one you got you got the speed, you got the little speed behind you. You know what I'm saying? And that's how they got hooked on it. So you I mean entertainers, you know, it a lot of stress on them.
SPEAKER_02:Well, again, you know, just to pull it back in a little bit and everything else with this young man and everything else. One of the things that they're finding out, especially with some of these younger football players, that, you know, when we play game, you know, played football or basketball or whatever, we were always, you know, was was told walk it off. You know, you walk it off or be a man, you know, you can't possibly be hurt that bad and everything. Well, apparently, you know, whatever this young man was going through, there are several instances of of that in the in the NFL. But there's, you know, what they're finding out, a lot of these athletes, you know, are are experiencing CTE, you know, and and it if you've been hit in the head as many times as this boy was, he was an offensive lineman. So there's always that possibility. Yeah. So again, where you know, they're there they always talk about the different things as far as money, yeah. You know, the girls, the cars, all this other stuff. But the one thing that you never really hear anybody talking about for any of these players is where you are at mentally.
SPEAKER_08:That's true. Now, now let's let's take this into consideration also. Being an athlete, I'm gonna tell you, pretty much all of them at one point, they did steroids.
SPEAKER_07:Possibly, yeah, a good portion of them created.
SPEAKER_08:They did steroids. Now, steroids can cause a lot of that mental issue. Absolutely, you know, uh, especially these athletes and everything. You're trying to perform, you're trying to perform, and now that you can't take these steroids, now you're self-conscious that I might not be able to perform, even though you'd have made it to the pros. Yeah, but you still gotta hit your numbers, yeah. You still gotta hit your numbers, yeah. Okay, so but again, I want to play a little devil advocate on this little situation.
SPEAKER_03:Sure, absolutely.
SPEAKER_08:Okay, so this guy's running from the police. Okay, they're chasing him. Yes, he gets away. He does. I don't know how he gets away. They broke off the chase. Is that what it is? They broke off the chase.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, because it went too far, it went too long.
SPEAKER_08:Oh, okay. So then they find him, crashed, crashed and with a bullet wound. Crashed with a bullet wound. Why was he running?
SPEAKER_02:That good question. It was a traffic, a routine traffic stop.
SPEAKER_00:Good question. Was he running? Was he driving and getting away, or was he running and getting away? No, he's driving.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, but routine traffic, why would you run? We'd all be dead then.
SPEAKER_02:That's a good question. And and and the the the girlfriend had already called the police and then told them that he had left the house with a gun. And that he he he had already told she he had already told her that he was going to hurt himself. Oh, so I mean, yeah, and then these are the things that you know that come out after the fact and everything else. But and and she did. And then when they pulled him over and everything else, he took off, but they got the backstory to all of that and everything else.
SPEAKER_08:So he probably ran because he had the gun in the car.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, more than likely. He was she said he was determined to hurt himself that now something had to lead up to that.
SPEAKER_00:Did she say that an argument or something before?
SPEAKER_02:No argument, no nothing. Was she pregnant? No, she wasn't pregnant. No, I'm just throwing it on. No, no, I agree, but I'm just saying, but it's just one of those things where it was just one of those things that he had already been going through mental illness prior to this actually happening. He even before his mom passed, he had already been battling mental illness. Wow. So, you know, they because the first thing they always say, well, you know, when his mammy his mama passed, you know, that you know, you know, that put him over the air. Because you know, they said that about Kanye. But you know, Kanye was crazy as hell before that.
SPEAKER_08:So, you know, could could could money be an issue?
SPEAKER_02:Could have been, but at the same time, he just scored a touchdown on Monday.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, his first one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:So it should she should be he he he was actually a decent player.
SPEAKER_02:He came in under the second round, the whole nine yards. You know, the thing is, I think that you know, the coping mech mechanisms that you and I and you know, we came through when we were younger and everything else isn't there. It just isn't there. I mean, you know, it you can see that, you know, with people that you work with, the younger people that you work with and everything else. The coping mechanisms is not there. Yeah, this young man, he you know, he he probably needed help, but let's figure out how how how we can get him playing more. Maybe that'll help him get out of this whole depression thing or whatever. That didn't help.
SPEAKER_08:And not to mention Dallas sucks right now.
SPEAKER_05:Dallas sucks all the time. So let us not stand on serum. Dallas sucks all the time.
SPEAKER_08:It could have been talks of him being traded or dropped. Could have been could have been anything, yeah. Anything you know I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02:They're not gonna tell you that. No, you're not gonna get a full story and everything else. But again, you know, it's the whole premise is that you know, we lost another young man, you know, from our culture that that was 24 years old, he took his own life, you know, and and it's it's it's happening more and more than we can possibly imagine now because these kids don't deal with stress very well, they just don't, they don't okay.
SPEAKER_07:So the question is why we all dealt with stress.
SPEAKER_08:That's because we got ass kicks when we were growing up.
SPEAKER_07:Well, you know what?
SPEAKER_08:I mean that's why we deal with stress better. Okay, okay, but we also didn't have social media, we didn't have social media. Well, we took our ass out when plate.
SPEAKER_00:It was also stigmatized. You couldn't be hurt, you couldn't say I need a mental health day. No, you oh hell no.
SPEAKER_01:Mental health day oh, or my personal favorite, I was triggered. You triggered, man. I'm gonna trigger your ass.
SPEAKER_04:Come on now. So you ain't no trigger.
SPEAKER_07:Okay, so then okay, so let's hypothesize. Do you think maybe he fell victim to that machismo thing?
SPEAKER_02:I'm not even sure if it was the machismo thing. I I think it was just more or less that this young man had issues that was never addressed. Or is it if it was addressed, that might be the key right there. Or either it was addressed, but it was addressed where okay, we'll get him a little bit of his medication, and then but he's a fantastic football player.
SPEAKER_07:Right, right, right. That's the problem, right? Put a band-aid on the bullet, right?
SPEAKER_08:That's the problem. You always want to put somebody on medication.
SPEAKER_02:Well, well, we don't know if he was ever on medication because from what I understand, he wasn't. Because it, you know, they it it if he wouldn't be able to play.
SPEAKER_08:Look, my son was younger. I mean, I'm talking about like seven, eight years old. They wanted to put him on Ritalin. Oh, yeah. Everybody was like, because my my son, my son had extra energy. They wanted to put him on Ritalin. Slow him down. So we had a teacher, her name was Miss Jr. She said, Mr. Mrs. Boykin, he does not need medication, he needs sports. Ah got my son in track, got my son in basketball, got my son in football. He calm down. Uh he got that energy soccer, and he ran the mess out of he ran the circles around people. He got the energy out, he got that energy out. So when now he's in the classroom, he's more calm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:So that was a sounds like a coping mechanism.
SPEAKER_08:That's a coping mechanism. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Because we didn't raise our kids up. No, it's time out. No, hell no. No, but I thumped the shit out of my son's head. My wife had my wife had to tell me to stop. Don't thump him anymore. Um, but that's why I mean that's what I did. There was no time out, you know. Hey, punishment immediately. Bow. You know. But now they were, oh no, we're gonna take your game away from you, we're gonna take your phone away from you, you know, and they're distraught.
SPEAKER_02:I I saw I saw this one parent uh online, and she was she was, you know, the little boy was kicking the shit out of his sister, and he was he was kicking the shit out of her. And then the the the mother said, You need to make better decisions.
SPEAKER_05:He was kicking the shit out of his sister. She's like, Stop, stop! He was kicking his shit out of it. She's like, You should make better decisions. And I'm thinking to myself, now the little boy he looked to be about four or five years old. What better decision?
SPEAKER_08:Man, that was a thump right upside the hand.
SPEAKER_05:Exactly. Stop that. Shut your little ass down.
SPEAKER_02:No, yeah, yeah. Again, it's a different world. And he's 20 was 24 years old, and you know, we're double his age and everything else. And it's just like anything else. We came through from a different timeline where our coping mechanisms were imparted from our parents, where you know, if you encountered a problem and everything else, you dealt with it. Right. Absolutely. You dealt with it. You didn't, you didn't, you didn't take and wait six years later, you know, or or you go run to six other six other people and you damn sure didn't have uh social media to go take and whine and cry about it. You just did. You dealt with it.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, yeah, adapt and overcome.
SPEAKER_02:You they these kids don't have that. And then that you know, we're looking at a lot of children because my sister, not my sister, my daughter, it was it was disturbing as hell because when she started high school, every year of her high school, a student committed suicide. Every year, wow. Her four her her four years of high school that they they commit it was a child that committed suicide, and it was almost like clockwork within the first three months of school. Each one of these children killed themselves with and she's she went through it again. This is and then you know, they're like, Oh, you know, well, we can always go talk to you know the counselor and all this other stuff. Yeah, she didn't have to, she had us, right? You know, we and we we talked to her about that and we made sure that you got something on your mind, you talk to us. Let's say we we'll work through this as much as we possibly can, you know. But at the same time, you know, a lot of these kids, four kids killed themselves in four years.
SPEAKER_00:But you know, I do notice one thing also. Now I had some friends whose kids were in Ivy League, and the same scenario, everybody whacked themselves within that. Oh, you mean to tell me I'm not getting a 4.0? Wow, yeah, yeah. You know what?
SPEAKER_07:You know, uh it's interesting that we're having this discussion because ironically, I teach health. Okay, and I've been I spent the last several weeks on mental health, making the right decisions, calm down, think about what you think, think before you react, talk to somebody. If you can't talk to me, your teacher, talk to another person, talk to somebody in the building, talk to somebody, and it sounds like they're not talking to you. Or they're talking to the media, or they're talking to the internet, or they're talking to the internet, yeah, or GPT.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. Well, they're looking for the they're looking for validation through all these different social media channels, you know, and there are channels that you know we we know of the Instagrams, you know, the Facebooks that but these children actually have other stuff that they actually go through too. And you do you think you know what they're saying? Not in a clue, man. Not even a clue. Not even a clue.
SPEAKER_08:It was that one a uh AI that had the little kid kill herself, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so it's not her, and that's interesting. Well, you had the one girl that that actually told the girl to go kill herself, yeah.
SPEAKER_08:And she did, and she did. That was a cyber bullying, yeah, yeah. And then and again, you had a weak mind anyway. Somebody on the computer tell you kill yourself and you'll kill yourself.
SPEAKER_02:We were in school, you know, and and you you'll get, you know, somebody, you know, that the most you got and everything else through the dozen was that, you know, man, if you keep talking, I'm gonna kick your ass, you know. But and anything back in the day, right? You know, but you didn't go to the that the distance and everything else, man. Why don't you go home and kill yourself?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you know, we just didn't say no shit like that. You know, we just do that.
SPEAKER_02:You know, these kids are serious. You know, when you get home, I want you to go home and then drink as much borax as you can, right? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:What the fuck? Come on now, yeah, and we go do it.
SPEAKER_05:They go on and do it, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You know, well, I did. I, you know, I ate a couple Todd pies, you know, Todd Pies, you know, you know.
SPEAKER_00:You know, I did think about eating one of those greedy.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, that shit look good.
SPEAKER_02:And and again, I I cannot stress this enough to any and everybody out there, you know, and to all our family and friends and everything else, you know, you got children or or or you have family or friends that need mental health, help get it. Yeah, even if you don't think it's a problem. Yes, don't don't don't assume nothing. Don't assume nothing. That oh, he'll be all right.
SPEAKER_08:Oh no, no, and the main thing is pay attention, pay attention, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely, pay attention if you see a change in behavior and everything else, they become more reclusive and everything else.
SPEAKER_08:Selfish, your problem is not you know, yes, the world does not revolve around.
SPEAKER_02:There you go. There you go, there you go. You know, that you know that your children we're trying to make sure our children are actually, you know, getting better, but that there are times where they just not, so it is what it is. That's that was my topic for the night, you know.
SPEAKER_07:You know, as an educator, I I see I see it every day in the arguing, the fussing, the physical. We had a we had a I'm not gonna tell y'all where I work at because my boss might be mad at me, but we had a ton of kids suspended this week for fighting. Why? Some of it was bullying, some of it was bullying, and they responded. And I tell these kids, I tell them, I say, through my classes and through personal interactions, look, do what's going on, talk to me. If you can't talk to me, talk to somebody. I just feel like sometimes we're fighting an uphill battle, but it is what it is.
SPEAKER_08:And then some of this is due to the dumb ass parents, also. Uh so one of my one of my kids, so as a matter of fact, all of my kids and my nieces and nephews went all went to the same elementary school. The mother took the fucking knife in the school and gave it to that baby, and gave it to the baby to stab this girl.
SPEAKER_07:G-O-M-P-E-R-S by chance.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a and see that that in itself, that that's a whole nother situation where you got, you know, the mom is 19, the grandma is, you know, 32, and great grandma just turned 41. Yeah, you know, that kind of shit. You know, so that's that you're you're getting that nonsense and everything else. Because I remember it happened at it was another situation that happened similar to down at King. Okay. You know, where the girl gets into a fight and the mom and her go back up there and jump on the one girl and stab her. You know, the mom. It's the mom. You supposed to be the one that has has some kind of goddamn sense that you don't. So again, you know, dance at the same club.
SPEAKER_00:Well, point me. You know what you think?
SPEAKER_05:Fighting for tips.
SPEAKER_04:Well, you know how the hell you gonna pay for Uber. How you gonna pay for Uber? Did you really have to say that?
SPEAKER_03:Take us out of here. Are we it's our time of uh where we had our time, man?
SPEAKER_04:Take us up, man. Take us out of here, bro. Dang I think that might have been the thought of the night right there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, all right. Wait, but before you go, man, before we do, take us up. Family and friends, and everybody who's listening to us and everything else, please. If you have a situation, get some help. Yes, yes, yes. You know, if you if if if you you're you're uncomfortable in talking to your your family or friends or anything else, go talk to someone that will help you get some help. Yeah, you know, do not let this sit and stew, and then two minutes later you want to take and hurt yourself or hurt someone else. Exactly.
SPEAKER_08:If we don't know where to go, reach out to us at uh puff and drinks at gmail.com and we will take and get you the help that you need.
SPEAKER_02:We will take and make sure that we point you in the right direction. So puff and drinks at gmail.com. Once again, in one word, puff and drinks at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_00:Gmail.com. All right, gang. We'll have a period of episode. All right.
