Puff and Drinks
Podcast for cigars, conversation and drinks
Puff and Drinks
Middle-Age Mood Swings, Compromise, and the Art of Keeping Peace at Home - Ep.15
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Listen to our full podcastEver done the chores, fixed the thing, checked every box—and still walked into a chilly room? We lean into that uncomfortable, oddly universal moment with candor and jokes, asking why “getting it done” often isn’t the same as doing it the “right way” and how small choices in tone, timing, and enthusiasm change everything. From the silent treatment to the “you should have known” trap, we unpack the hidden rules that make domestic life feel like a moving target and share simple, workable steps for shifting from defense to discovery without losing your cool.
Across the table, we compare strategies: stand your ground, give in, or craft a middle that preserves respect without keeping score. You’ll hear why method matters as much as outcome, how a quick repair bid can stop a spiral, and where compromise actually lives—in concrete preferences, not vague ideals. We also talk generational patterns: why younger folks bail at the first haze, what resilience really looks like, and how to build depth through repeatable repairs rather than big speeches. Along the way, we toast a smooth pairing—Basil Hayden bourbon with a Drew Estate ACID Kuba Kuba cigar—digging into flavor, seasonality, and price, because a calm ritual can be the easiest door back to connection.
If you’re navigating mood swings, mismatched expectations, and the mystery of “what’s wrong now,” this conversation offers perspective you can use tonight: soft starts, specific asks, and appreciation that sticks. Tap play, try a small repair, then tell us what worked. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a laugh and a plan, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show.
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All right, cute music.
Rodney Q:What's up, what's up, what's up, Puff Train family? We got another Friday, and we have a very controversial uh topic that we're gonna address today. Before we begin, my name is Rodney Q Love, throwing it over to Byron B.
Byron B:Hey, and I have a good pairing today. It is a kuba cool with a hazel baiting. Yeah, so we're gonna talk about that a little later and everything, but I'm gonna pass it over to the DLC and he'll give you what that means.
Dennis:Dennis L Cotton. All right, all right. That's my name. That's what it means. The DLC.
Rodney Q:I like the DLC. Yeah, gentlemen, let's toast it in for a good episode. Yeah, uh fourth compadre, Jimmy, had to work today. He is uh on a plane from Seattle and wouldn't make it back in time. But um, we're gonna put the topic on him because this is something that he wanted to talk about. Oh, okay, okay, all right, all right. Well, what is it? What are we talking about? What are we talking about? All right, all right, all right, all right. This is something that's been weighing on various brothers' minds for some time. But have you ever walked in a room after you've done or so you thought you'd done everything right, everything going to plan? You cleaned the house, ran all the chores, blah blah blah, and you walk back in, and it's like your mom is quiet. It's like, what's wrong now? What's wrong now? Wrong now. Wow, I mean, you thought everything was going all right, yeah. I mean, you know, it's like when you walked in, you cut a fart, or something like that, and the mood immediately changed. Hey man, just went from did a 180. 180, 180. Yeah, so so so I have to know, or I've got to just throw it out there because I'm sure various brothers like that are asking the same question, okay. Okay, okay, and it could be, I don't know, maybe the most mundane things, but have you ever just asked that question amongst yourselves? You walk in a room, what the fuck is wrong now?
Byron B:First of all, I would not dare say it like that. Well, I say that to myself. Oh, you said it to yourself. Okay, all right, all right. Oh my god, yeah, but you know, I've often wondered and everything. Um, like you know, what is wrong? Um, did I do something, or um did I do something in the past, or am I about to do something in the future? Uh what what is going on? You know, what's with the attitude? Okay, you know, I'm leaving. Hey, this is this is one of those topics, you know. Um we we we have to bring out. Um, we're gonna feel the repercussions later. Um, and it it's gonna happen, yeah. Um, next month, and you're gonna walk in the room and be like, what's wrong? But do you remember that topic you guys had last month? And it's you can be like, Oh my goodness. Uh yeah, see, this is what we're talking about. This is what we're talking about, but you know, uh, we're uh middle-aged gentlemen, yes, okay. Middle-aged so um, married to, or uh you might as well be married, right? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, uh, middle-aged women. Um, we all have our mood swings, okay. So it could be a combination of my mood not meeting your mood.
Rodney Q:Oh, you know, but but but what is the mood again? Yeah, you're thinking that okay, I fixed the screen door. Okay, I did everything you told me. I did everything you told me to, and I might have said something that I don't know. Uh maybe if you put the mail on this side of the fence or something, and a nuclear bomb goes. No, or it's something that you know when you first met me, you didn't say something, or you didn't do something, right? Well, that was 10 years ago, 10 years ago, or you just get the silence, yeah. Silent treatment, and it's like, okay, okay, okay, okay, honey. Um what what's it all about?
Byron B:Have you experienced any of that, Dennis?
Rodney Q:Well, Dennis lived a perfect life.
Dennis:He had a perfect life, uh, yes, I have. Here's my take on it. What's your take on it? Well, you know, uh, what's that book? Um, I'm sure I'm gonna screw it up. Men are from Venus and Women Are From Mars, blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, right, right. I mean, yeah, I think I got it backwards. I I think we're just I mean, that's just how it is. I think I think women tend to be more anal. Oh, I didn't mean to say that. Okay, all right. They tend to be more uh let's use O T A B C D well, we might be A B F H as long as we get the job done. Okay, but okay, if we don't get the job done the way they want us to get the job done, yes, and did they tell us to get the job done the way they wanted us to get the job done? Sometimes, yes, most times no, but we gotta know because that's our job, we have to figure it out.
Byron B:So I let me tell you, I mean, so uh I am that type A B C D type guy, okay, right? Um, and this is something I know she gonna she's gonna shake her head, it irritates my wife because if you're not doing it a b c d I'm going to force my A B C D on you, yeah, and she gets irritated with that. I'm like, honey, I I'm not even talking to you, I'm I'm with somebody else talking talking to but why are you gonna try to force your way on them? I'm I'm like, it's not you, so why are you look leave it alone? It's not they're not, I mean that it's not bothering them, yeah.
Rodney Q:You know, well, I also noticed too, it is part of the enthusiasm that they tell you to do something if you don't do it with the same zeal or enthusiasm. Yeah, you know, you didn't want you act like you ain't want to do. Oh my god, oh my god. Oh, yeah, god damn. I picked up the moon and moved it. Well, you ain't do it like the you ain't act like you want to do it, right? Right, but I moved the motherfucker, right?
Byron B:Or you or or you get up. Well, never mind. Never mind. I I didn't even get off the couch yet. What you mean? Never mind. I'll do it myself. I just lean forward to get up. You said never mind. Yeah, I'm like, what oh, so I at least not in the timely manner that they wanted in with the enthusiasm, yeah. With enthusiasm, you gotta hop up. Yes, boss.
Rodney Q:Yes, yeah, and then when you do that, I I hate a wuss. Oh god, oh man, okay.
Dennis:Who the hell picked this topic?
Byron B:It wasn't us, it was it was Jimmy, and he's not it was Jimmy, it was Jimmy picked this topic.
Dennis:Dude, you picked a fine time to kill you, John.
Byron B:He he kind of gave us pointers and everything, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rodney Q:He gave us a roadmap to this.
Byron B:Oh, yeah. But yeah, it's like you know, and again, I'm gonna step back and everything say that you know, I think a lot of the attitude deals with both sides. Well, so hold on. Now, now now come on, humble yourself. Now, you're not feeling the best every day, of course not. Okay, you might have had a bad day and everything, and you come home, she had a bad day, and um one thing sets it off. Ah, yeah, one thing sets it off a little domino effect and everything, and then now uh just because she got an attitude, now you like what's wrong now?
Dennis:Okay, yeah, that is that is a well-balanced perspective.
Byron B:I and I like to see both, you know, both ends of the spectrum and everything. All right, um, so that you know that that's how I feel about that.
Dennis:So, so let me ask this question what's more important getting the job done by any means necessary, as long as the job is done, or getting it done the way she wants you to do it.
Rodney Q:You're asking the million dollar question.
Byron B:Thank you. I'm me personally, yes, is getting the job done, period. Okay, and whether I'm doing it the way she wants me to do it or not, at the end of the day, it's done. And I agree with you.
Rodney Q:It's done.
Dennis:We are in agreement, yeah.
Rodney Q:But but but but at the end of the job, do you get a that looks good? Congratulations, yes. Uh, you were right. I like what you did. I looked at you get that same side, they'll look at it, hmm, and walk away. But I just killed five crocodors, right? I killed that damn lion with a stick and a rock. Oh, you think that makes you a man? Man, yeah, yeah.
Byron B:You you eating good, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rodney Q:You know, how dare you make me eat leftovers?
Byron B:Yeah, so again, we we're talking about what's wrong now. That's today's today's topic. What's wrong? What's wrong?
Rodney Q:You know, we we're throwing this out there. I granted, this should have been a live, super live show with an audience, yeah. Right, right. What was that? Jubilee, we should have something like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.
Rodney Q:But it this is a pondering question that yeah, men of all races and especially mature ages, right? We just got to know what's wrong now. The what's wrong now, but um, yeah, please, most definitely, you know, you guys can respond to this and send us an email.
Byron B:Yeah, email puffin drinks at gmail.com. You know, we we check the email, yeah.
Rodney Q:And if you want to meet us in the bar, we'll tell you that. Yeah, you can yell at us there, like like we ain't gonna yell at when we get home.
Byron B:Exactly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh my god.
Byron B:But uh, but we're man, we'll be able to handle it. Yeah, thing. Um, we've handled worse. Yep.
Dennis:Um, as long as we have cars, we can go sit in them. We'll be fine.
Rodney Q:Wait, wait until uh I bring up the second topic next show. Oh man, and that was on you. Nope, Jimmy. Also, no, okay, Jimmy also, okay.
Byron B:Jimmy also.
Rodney Q:I I know he met with y'all beforehand. I have no idea.
Dennis:I have no idea. This is one of these questions that I I love it. What's wrong now? But yeah, I think it's just like is it like it is there life after death? We we were like to think so, and hopefully, you know, we'll all go to heaven and all that, but do we really know?
Byron B:Um so we go through it, um but I think these younger cats are getting even worse, even worse.
Rodney Q:Or they don't know how they don't know how to they don't have the right family to live.
Byron B:Yeah, yeah. I think these younger cats are getting even worse. Uh I wish we had one on hand to talk to and everything. Yeah. Um, but yeah, uh because they really haven't experienced it. Right and everything. Um experience the best that you can. Uh you've seen it once, twenty times, the fourth time, and you kinda expect what to do. Yeah.
Rodney Q:Um flying too.
Dennis:Right. Right. So it seems to me that this is a question that you know what? I mean, if we had some women on the show or we could get in contact with some. I mean, if this was a live show, maybe we could possibly, possibly come up with and I gotta stress that we're possibly come up with an answer, but I really don't think there is an answer.
Byron B:I think it's today the answer. What's the answer? It's gonna be what do you mean?
Rodney Q:That is a question with the question. I saw you, you know, use give me this.
Byron B:Jimmy, Jimmy said we had to talk about this, so I'm I'm just throwing that out there. Uh throwing it out.
Dennis:Perhaps maybe this is one of those where it's uh man, how can I say this? Survival of survival of the smartest, the fittest, the the one who's capable of strategic manipulation. Let me expound. Okay. It's not so much of saying, baby, you're wrong, but you somehow by you know, you know, uh, you know what am I trying to say? Uh uh blinking an eyelash or blinking an eye, uh, hey baby, let's go get something to eat, let's discuss this, or let me rub your shoulders right quick. Okay, you know, okay. So it's not, I don't think it's a matter of we're right and they're wrong, it's a matter of who can persuade the other side to agree.
Rodney Q:You know, I think it's somewhat deeper than that, because in that category, I think that women have the bigger egos because I do, yeah, I agree. If we are silent, if we don't gloat or anything like that, which we don't, the mindset of them is uh you just look like you know like you right, you just you just like to rub it in, but I ain't say nothing. Okay, I ain't seen nothing. You knew this what you knew I was gonna fail with this, and you ain't say nothing, right? Right, right. It's like baby. I'll just let I let you go on ahead and do what you you suggest. Do you you know?
Byron B:I I've been told, uh you you always think you're right. Ah, yeah. Well, what person wants to think they're wrong? Right. I'm I'm gonna go into conversation, like, uh, I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I you know, yeah, I'm wrong. No, I'm talking, I'm thinking what I'm saying is correct. So um that statement. So here's the better question. Okay, here's the better question. You know, initial question was okay, what now? All right, here's the better question. What can I do to correct it?
Dennis:Well, now see if I was a woman, I would say, well, you gotta do this, this, this, this, and this, and this too. Okay, well, I'm talking about on your end. Oh my what what what can I do? Yeah, well, you know what? That that is an interesting question because we're we're speaking as a represent a representative of finer black manhood, no, finer manhood period. Okay, finer manhood. Uh yeah, I'm like this. If I um if I know that what I'm standing on is correct, okay, I got a choice. I could either stand my ground, I I got three choices. I can stand my ground, give in, or see if I can come to a a medium, see if I can come to a strategic agreement. I don't have to get everything right, but that now but I gotta get some of it right. No, no, you know, I didn't say that right. I I I I don't have to get everything I want, but I gotta get something. If I can get something, I'm good. Now, right, you know, so that's that's my take on it.
Byron B:But what I'm saying is, okay, we walk into that room and we get silence, something, and we think it to ourselves without saying it, okay. What now? What now? What now? How do we correct that?
Rodney Q:You know what, bruh? I'm going to be honest with you. Go ahead, go ahead, be honest. I ain't got a clue. Because if I ask her, okay, I'll get the you should already know, which makes me go in even more confusion.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay.
Rodney Q:So if she don't know what to tell me, which I surmise that I was doing the right thing, okay. All right, you know, and I mean, I'm not on earth 312. I don't know. Okay, I don't know.
Dennis:But this is puffing drinks. We we have to know, we have to know, or or at least pretend that we know.
Rodney Q:Well, well, when I pretend, I start sounding like mushmouth. You be meeba, she be. Oh my god, oh my god, and I look like a bigger fool than I am.
Dennis:Oh yeah, that that's that's uh or all right, or or okay, if she's sitting there, you just go to the chair or the couch on the other side of the room, and you just sit there and read the paper, play with your phone, and just wait, somebody's going to blink.
Byron B:Okay, all right. So, how about how about if you just go in and you see something's wrong, and you be like, Hey honey, um, let me rub your feet. It's like you had a hard day, yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, hey, um, have you had any tea today? Let me make you some tea. Yeah, sounds good so far. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and instead of we just going in saying, hey, okay, what's wrong now? Uh because that that's just gonna cause more to be wrong, and yes, friction, potential friction, yes, more to be wrong.
Rodney Q:Go ahead. Well, here's a caveat. Uh-huh. What if you attempt to do that and they jerk away, then leave. Go to the bar. Call us. It's like, come here, baby.
Dennis:Yeah, call us. Call us. We'll meet you anywhere anytime. Oh, we'll come over with a fifth or something.
Byron B:We'll sit in the garage and drink and smoke. Yeah. Or drink.
Rodney Q:Yeah. Well, we have no uh answer with this show. Not nothing, not nothing, nothing that we can push. Yeah. But it's okay to give us some ponderance, right? So uh, Byron, um, please let us know what the pairing is today, sir.
Byron B:Yeah, so um talked about it earlier. It was the uh Asset Koopa Cuba with a basil Hayden. Now, um me personally, basil Hayden was a uh uh bourbon that I just found out about this year, and um I was like, wow, this is a pretty mild, I'm not gonna say fruity tasting bourbon, but um it was kind of delicious. Yeah, right. Now I already like acid cuba kuba. That was one of the first cigars I ever smoked, and everything, which leaves a sweet residue on your lips, and you really just love it, and then when you take a sip of that basil hating, it just really actuates the drink. So it's more of a dessert type of uh yes, I I would say it's a more the dessert type of drink and smoke, yeah. Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Rodney Q:Would you prescribe it for like a fall setting or I would say anytime.
Byron B:Well, you know, um I would say spring or fall because when once it's hot outside and everything, sometimes the taste buds are not always there, right? But when it's colder outside, you can actually taste things better. This is to me, you can smell things better. Um, so I I would say, yeah, fall, fall, spring, it's good, it's good now. Basil Hayden, Hayden will actually go good in an Irish coffee.
Dennis:Shut up, yes.
Byron B:Oh man, I say we we should test that hypothesis immediately because it's not one of those real hard bite type bourbons, uh-huh, it's smooth. Uh Irish cream coffee. Yeah, I I love Irish cream coffee, me too, and uh, I think that's real smooth. So these two actually blend together with no problem.
Dennis:I say we do it. Uh what's the price? Because I'm kind of a cheap ass. Um well beta is it's a little pricey, but it's worth it.
Byron B:Well, it depends. What what what are we saying pricey?
Dennis:What's pricey? Well, if you're asking me anything over a dollar, okay?
Rodney Q:So well, it's gonna be over a dollar.
Dennis:Yeah, that will never happen. So so I'm I don't know. Uh realistically, come on, give it. Oh, let me see. Um, I bought a chocolate flavor patron. I spent close to 50 bucks. Okay, it's less than that.
Byron B:Okay, yeah. I I was gonna say on an average, an average bourbon I buy is about 55 bucks, and this is the average, really, yeah. About 55 bucks. I would I try anything at least once. Yeah, uh basil and basil Hayden is one of those um on the lower end of that. Okay, um, and you get a knife creek, which is on the higher end of that, right?
Dennis:Um, so um, yeah, I would try anything at least once. Yeah, it sounds damn tempting.
Byron B:I I guarantee you love it. Yes, I guarantee you love it.
Dennis:As we try to answer that question, yeah, yeah. What now? What's wrong? What's wrong now? Yeah, man. You know, uh, I I I think especially I like what uh Byron said about the younger cats not being equipped to handle it. Yeah, we barely equipped it, yeah, yeah. I mean, you just you just gotta weather the storm and try this, that, and the third. Baby, let me rub your feet. Uh okay, what's going on? Uh let me go make that tea for you, right? Try whatever you gotta do to have that breakthrough and to maintain peace.
Byron B:I think they will uh they will take the easy way, uh-huh, and which is just leave the relationship. What they would just leave the relationship, that's the easy way out for them for them as in the younger cats and the younger for the younger kids.
Dennis:Oh, all right, yeah, yeah. Damn, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's kind of sad.
Byron B:I mean, I like this. Yeah, so I uh where I'm you know work with someone at work and everything, and I talk to those guys and everything. I love them. No, I said, Look, man, I've been married 32 years, man. Um, it's it's it's a give and take thing, yeah. Um, it's a compromise thing, and compromise is the major.
Dennis:Who do you think is more prone to compromise, men or women, or both, depending men.
Rodney Q:We have to give in more than anybody else, yeah. I think so. Right, wrong, and different.
Byron B:Yep, okay, all right. But uh, your wife must not watch the show.
Rodney Q:I'm not well, Jimmy told me to say that.
Dennis:Oh so by let me answer this question. You to you say you were talking to some of the younger cats at work, they were talking about leaving the relationship. I mean, uh, can you give us an let me put it this way? Unless I'm I wake up in the morning and I find out that I'm totally bankrupt. Okay, I'm not I'm just not ready yet just yet.
Rodney Q:Oh, yeah, right, right, right. Well, well, young cats don't like to strife, which I ain't gonna lie to you. When I was young, I didn't want to deal with shit. Right, right. If it started getting a little hazy, yeah, but you're older and wiser.
Byron B:And this is the thing they tell me, man. I have the options, yeah. And I said, Okay, one of them when you pick one of those options and something goes wrong, are you gonna leave it? You're gonna just keep leaving it, keep yeah, keep leaving it. You know, look, you would never find the perfect, absolute perfect person for you. You're you're not gonna find that, it's a give and take. So either I'm gonna compromise and I'm gonna take a plus c, or I'm gonna compromise and take a plus b. You're never gonna have a b and c oh no no, uh uh.
Dennis:Not in this life, anyway.
Byron B:Yeah, yeah. So you take the the the the lesser of the evils, right? Which you can actually deal with. Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
Rodney Q:So uh a man of wisdom, yeah. Well, you have the wisdom uh of Zeus right now. Zeus of the gods. Wow, that's a good one. Well, gang. We are going to wrap this thought-provoking episode up. Yes, uh, I'm sure we'll get a lot of uh feedback on Jimmy's question. Yeah, that he asked. Jimmy's question, yeah.
Dennis:Jimmy's question, and we will have him here so y'all can know who right, yeah. Right, right.
Rodney Q:He said it, he did it. But gang, uh, we're getting ready to sign up. Please go to our website, please look at the merch. Right. We are going to most definitely um let you guys know we're at uh next venue. We are planning to attend the Royal Oak Bourbon Fest coming up on the 18th. On the 18th, and we'd love for you guys to hang out with us there and make fools of yourselves with us there. You know, hey, that's what we're gonna do. And you come on out, we'll probably give you a ticket. Yeah, we'll give you a ticket, yeah. And you get a picture with us, yes. Puff and drink, guys, puff and drink, boys. All right, well, gang, I'm signing out, riding the cube love, throwing it over to hey Byron B.
Dennis:DLC Dennis Lamar Cotton.
Rodney Q:All right. We'll see you next week, gang.
Dennis:Deuce deuces peace and love.
Byron B:All right.
